10 Reasons Why Your Sex Drive is Dropping
Sex is such an important part of lives. It’s that warm, fuzzy, butterflies in tummy sensation when you see the person you love, the need to feel someone’s arms around you and do the same to them and more besides. We all will go through short phases when we just don’t want it, but if this goes on for longer than a couple of weeks, it’s worth recognising this and taking steps to remedy the situation.
Is it just me?
We may get to a stage where we just don’t to have sex with the person we are with (sad but true), However, does this mean you are no longer interested in sex? Imagine Tom Hardy/Hugh Jackman / Brad Pitt / A.N. Other Hottie turning up on your doorstep, would you want to grab him and do wickedly wonderful things together? Or maybe just go to a rugby match and watch the players, if there isn’t one there that makes your lips swell and nipples tingle, then consider if any of the following apply to you:
- Tiredness: Not getting enough sleep is common: worry and stress can keep us awake. For women going through the menopause, night sweats and the insomnia that kicks in from 2- 5am can play havoc, leaving you feeling exhausted.
- Working Long Hours/Family Issues: You need to be in the right frame of mind to have good sex, if you have things niggling in the back of your mid, it’s not going to feel right.
- Medication: certain meds can affect your libido, so it’s good to speak to your doctor if you think anything you are taking is affecting your sex drive. Medical Prescriptions can be changed to let you try other drugs that will minimise this problem.
- Medical Problems: Depression and certain medical conditions can affect your sexual drive, so again, it’s important to try and seek medical advice if you think this could apply to you. It’s not easy to do and perhaps you might feel self-conscious, but it’s important that you speak to someone about this.
- Age: As we age, the levels of certain hormones in our body starts to drop and this can make you lose interest in sex. Whilst this is perfectly normal from a biological point of view, we are all living much longer and sex is an important part of the glue that keeps a relationship together. You may not want to have sex 3 times a day anymore, but you shouldn’t neglect this part of your life, even if it’s with Jessica Rabbit.
- Do you feel less feminine these days? In an age where we are constantly bombarded by images of youth and vitality, it’s not hard to start feeling old and decrepit. Why would anyone want to have sex with me because (a) I don’t look like a model (b) I don’t wear makeup every day (c) I’m not a size 4 anymore (d) I’m the wrong side of 40 (e) my bum looked really big on that photo on facebook (f) etc.
- I really don’t fancy him anymore: If you look at your partner and the thought of being physically intimate with them is a major turn off, then you really need to have a talk together. You may be intricately linked by an emotional and financial network, but can you / should you resign yourself to no longer having sex until you/they pass over?
- Is sex getting painful? As we age, the vaginal cells become thinner and do not produce the same amount of lubrication, so sex can become unpleasant. You can buy vaginal moisturisers from all chemists and your doctor can prescribe certain creams which help. It may feel embarrassing, but it’s worth making the effort to find a solution that works for you.
- I can’t orgasm/my partner can’t perform: men can be very reluctant to discuss their failings in the bedroom, something that may be less important when you’re younger and find it easy to climax, but becomes more of a problem over the years. In any good relationship, it’s good to talk together and maybe find ways of enjoying sex in a more mutually fulfilling ways.
- Low Testosterone: Some women find that their libido is significantly impacted by the menopause and in these cases, doctors are able to prescribe testosterone drugs that will help. Please don’t be lured into buying dodgy supplies off the Internet; quite often these do not have the right actives, kept in unhygienic conditions or sadly even contain toxic chemicals. Speak to your medical professional or nurse and they will be able to help you.